They say that somewhere in the depths of the physics building lives a poltergeist named Gerald. A pencil-stealing, blackboard-scraping, laser-interferometer-sabotaging fiend, with eyes like ice, feet like wings, and an impeccable understanding of the fundamentals of quantum electrodynamics. No human has ever seen more than his shadow, but it has been proven that the chances of that much chalk spontaneously smashing into smithereens overnight are statistically similar to those of a mid-to-large-size cheesecake instantaneously travelling 15 minutes back in time, or indeed to those of Joseph Wang being on-time to busking. The longevity of these mysterious phenomena, spanning more than a lifetime, has only strengthened the hypothesis of a supernatural presence. Gerald’s more recent antics perhaps explain the questionable behaviour of the physics lifts, and the disappearance of the physics computer rooms (“it was just, poof, and they were gone!”), although no-one can be certain.
Joseph Wang is available for parties, weddings, funerals, and bar mitzvahs.